1 month.for a person who lives 70 years, 1 month is jus 1/840=0.00190 (3s.f.) of his entire life.
yet sometimes tat 0.00190 period of our life can hav such huge impact on our lives.
july, or rather from mid-june to 31st july has been a rly special 1 and a half month for me.it's like an emotional roller coaster ride, with more up and downs, 360 degree turns and stuff. termination of scholarship, ct2, receiving results of ct2, scholarship fair, careers talk, university talk,all subjects going into revision, realising how far back i am, every subject going into revisions, and thr were also investiture and farewell.
tmr will be the 1st day of august,and 24 days before prelims officially starts, the fear of the A levels in me is growing faster each day, dy/dx greater than tat of y=x^(infinity).
this is the nth time i'm blogging abt how stressed and frustrated i am abt myself and my results, i know.
bt i rly cant help it, arghhhhh
i nid motivation to study, a very high one, like how i was in primary school, when finishing all the homework of the day before school ends was the most shiok thing to do, even if tat means i'll hav to hide my exercise books and hands in the drawer to not be discovered during lessons.things were simple then, simple dreams, simple lifestyle.
still rmb tat when i was in primary school, the form teacher will ask every student their ambitions and hobbies. my hobbies were consistently reading story books, watching tv and riding bicycle throughout my 4 yrs in primary school, while i had a lot of different ambitions back then, from doctor to lawyer,teacher,detective,scientist,owner of a big company haha.
and thr'll be these period of time every year when i'll be rly excited abt seeing my name on the newspaper after i've won sth, be it maths comp or receiving the RM50 scholarship from the 潮州会馆. RM50 was such a huge amt for me then haha, when i was still spending less than RM1 per day. 1 plate of fried mee and 1 cup of barley only cost like 60 cents? and i'll use the remaining 40 cents to buy erasers or small toys to play. erasers were like our chips then, and our toys at the same time. we'll play this game which aim was to make ur eraser be on top of others' and the last eraser standing will be the winner and get all the erasers haha. so sometimes i'll go home with a bag full of erasers and sometimes without any.
everytime i see the cabinet filled with trophies in my house, i'll start to wonder wat has happened te. havent rly won anything much after i graduated from primary school. hey i was once the best in maths among students of my age in muar, although it took me 2 years to bring the girl from presbyterian primary school down from 1st place haha. and i can still rmb the smile on the principal's face when he so proudly announced the very first golden trophy my primary school has ever won, if i rmb correctly. and i met him in june when i went bak and he still recognizes me!
shall save this for the nxt time. 10.37pm now. complex 3 tutorial, gp 2005 compre to go. holy ****